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You Can't Change Your Boss
Kaplan-Moss says that dealing with a bad boss is a common problem, but the main point is blunt: your boss’s behavior is unlikely to change because of your feedback. He treats that behavior as fixed enough to plan around, not something you can reliably correct.
He argues that feedback across a power gap usually works in one direction only. A boss can pressure a report to change, but a report has no comparable leverage, and a bad boss may react badly to pushback. Good bosses can listen, but they are rare and often seek feedback on their own. The practical response is to treat your boss like the weather: complain if needed, but plan for what you can control.
Reading notes#
- The article frames a bad boss as a common workplace problem, not an unusual case.
- It says trying to change a boss’s behavior is usually ineffective.
- It presents the realistic choices as living with the situation or finding another job.
- It explains that feedback across a power gradient is asymmetric because bosses have leverage over reports.
- It notes that the kind of boss who most needs feedback is often the least likely to accept it well.
- It allows that some good bosses can take feedback from subordinates.
- It says those bosses often seek feedback proactively from bosses, peers, coaches, classes, books, and employee satisfaction signals.
- It ends by comparing a boss to the weather: you cannot control it, only prepare for it.