The year of "decentering men"

The piece says “decentering men” has become a widespread TikTok phrase in 2025, used by women who want to stop making men the center of their lives. It links the trend to changing attitudes toward singlehood, online dating, and the cultural status of heterosexual relationships.

Reading notes

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• The term was coined in 2019 by Charlie Taylor and seems to have caught on in 2025.
• On TikTok, it appears in videos urging women to deprioritize finding a partner and to thrive outside romantic relationships.
• A Vogue column about whether having a boyfriend is embarrassing became a viral example of the shift.
• The article connects the trend to South Korea’s 4B movement, which rejects marriage, dating, sex, and childbearing.
• It also places “decentering men” alongside criticism of “male-centered women” and “pick me’s.”
• A Pew study is cited showing fewer single women than single men are actively seeking relationships.
• Taylor says the phrase does not mean rejecting romance, pleasure, or touch, only refusing to center men in one’s life.
• The article describes TikTok as a record of difficult heterosexual dating for Gen Z.
• It notes a wider partisan gap between Gen Z women and men, plus the spread of misogynistic content and the manosphere.
• The piece says younger women are less afraid of being judged for staying single and may value financial freedom, fewer household duties, and more control over their time.
• Bella DePaulo is quoted saying single life can be more expansive and psychologically rich than a partnered one.