Not money or fame: Harvard’s 85-year-long study shows why relationships matter most for happiness

The Harvard Study of Adult Development argues that a good life is shaped less by money or fame than by strong, supportive bonds with family, friends, and community. It says people who are happiest and healthiest tend to have deep, trusting, reliable relationships, and that caring for relationships is a form of self-care.

Reading notes

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• The study, which began in 1938, asks what makes a good life and finds that money or fame are not what most people need for happiness.
• The happiest and healthiest people have strong bonds with family, friends, and community, and the quality of those bonds matters more than the number of relationships.
• Robert Waldinger says relationships and happiness in relationships strongly affect health, and tending to relationships is a form of self-care.
• The study lists strong relationships, emotional resilience, healthy lifestyle choices, social engagement, purposeful work, early-life experiences, and self-reflection on social fitness as factors linked to happiness.
• The research started with 268 Harvard sophomores in 1938 and later expanded to include 456 Boston inner-city residents and more than 1,300 descendants.
• The data show that people more socially connected live longer and happier lives, and that those most satisfied with their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
• Loneliness is described as harmful as smoking or alcoholism, and it is linked to physical and mental health decline and a higher risk of premature death.
• The study also points to maintaining a healthy weight, staying physically active, avoiding smoking, and limiting alcohol as predictors of a long, happy life.
• The idea of social fitness means regularly checking whether relationships are healthy and balanced and making time to nurture them.
• The study’s message is that meaningful relationships, a resilient mindset, healthy habits, and community involvement matter more than wealth or status.